Too Little Too Soon

My father (my real one) is once again leaving, as he always seems to do. I know this is a great opportunity for him, but I can't help but feel disappointed now. And I cannot tell him these things because it will make me seem selfish. I just have so much in my mind now, and I want to blurt it all out, but I can't. I really could use a friend right now, but I know that won't happen. I want to tell him how angry I am with him because he wasn't part of my life, how he never helped me when my mother became too overbearing. I want to tell him to not leave because he just got here and its breaking my heart that he's leaving. But I can't say any of this, not to anyone. Because nobody will listen...