A Book That Ends With No Last Page

And here I shall wash my hands of this all. It is with a heavy, yet somehow light heart at the same time I say it is finished. I've taken the time to step back from my life (a sort of out of body experience, if you will) and examine myself. I've been thinking of going north and west. Seattle, like I was considering beforehand. However there is the matter of school. I've just felt extremely confused lately. About everything. I just feel like leaving it all behind and starting new. And so I leave this tale to be unfinished, and untold...

Distance

I've never appreciated the beauty of being with someone I care about close to me, and now since there is this distance, its killing me.

Distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there. But whenever I start feeling sad, because I miss you, I remind myself how lucky I am to have someone so special to miss.

Missing someone gets easier everyday because even though you are one day further from the last time you saw them, you are one day closer to the next time you will.

So hopefully I get to visit Jerry in November. He's amazing, and I'm really hoping I can. I'll be going with my friend Jessi so it'll be pretty awesome :) oh the anticipation :)

Guys

So since Simon and I have broken up, a few guys have become interested in me... or so I think. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just have recently felt like I have the plague or something. Its like, one minute a guy is interested, and the next he's not. I don't understand it, and I'm starting to feel like I'll be alone forever. I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, but here's what I mean:

- B: We went out on a date, and everything was great. Then all of a sudden, its like he falls off the face of the earth. No contact.
- A: We also went out on a date. In fact, everything went exceptionally well. We stayed out late, laughed, talked, had a lot in common, and then... BAM! He takes out another girl and I don't exist. No contact. He tells people he's stuck between deciding on me & that other girl, but I don't see how that's possible since he hasn't even tried with me.
- R: Blast from the past. Which is all great and everything, but since he's a few miles farther than I'd like, you'd think he'd at least try to keep better contact. But nope. A few nice conversations, and he disappears, like them all.
- M: He is always constantly in and out.

I just don't understand why I'm being put through this crap. I'm just sick of being toyed with.

Friends

Friends aren't friends unless they act like friends. They don't slander you, they don't demean, and they don't treat you like garbage. They would never ignore you and they are they when you need them. So those who do these are not friends. I have been walked on like a doormat for so long, and I am no longer going to tolerate such abuse. You've pushed me to my limit, and I've come to the point where I don't care anymore. I just don't.